FORGIVENESS

Fresh tomatoes that are packed up and hidden in a closet are going to get rotten with time. Although they were fresh and edible, they will end up stinking. This is what unforgiveness looks like.

Luke 6:37 says; “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

Beloved, it takes the grace of God to know you are harboring unforgiveness. Only God can bring us to a point where we realize that our sincerity with ourselves is not His truth about certain things. If God convicts you of unforgiveness today, I pray you will not argue because His integrity is superior to our sincerity; He cannot lie, but we can without even knowing it. 

THE UNTOLD UGLY SIDE OF UNFORGIVENESS

Just as the rotten tomatoes in our illustration, unforgiveness has nothing good to offer you. It is an invisible weight and God wants you to hand it over to Him. It is a seed that may seem harmless at first because you may try to convince yourself that after all, you did not pay back your offenders in their coins. Nevertheless, it is going to deteriorate even more, and sooner than later, it will affect other aspects of your life. You cannot hide the odor of rotten tomatoes.

Choosing to stay resentful and refusing to uncover wounds will lead to a consistent transformation of your perspective of life and people. Someone who has been betrayed on several occasions in the past is most likely to have difficulties trusting others in the future. A neglected and rejected person will find it difficult to accept love from people, or he may even see everyone as a threat because it is difficult to tell if they are real or unreal.

When the seed of unforgiveness begins to grow, its root is usually bitterness, and bitterness manifests as anger, lack of love, lack of peace, and strife. This is one of the things that end up shaping our mindset for life, but God does not want it to be so. He wants us to allow Him to uncover the hurts that we have gotten used to, He wants to attend to them and help us heal.

"With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation" Isaiah 12:3

The childhood traumas, the shortcomings of the people we relate with, and even the unpleasant situations we found ourselves in at some point; all of these are painful experiences but we need to relieve ourselves from this great burden so we can have a better view of life. We need to be able to see life and people through the lens of God’s love and not through that of pain. This can only be achieved when we allow God to touch us at that spot and give His healing to us.

 

A SIMPLE TEST FOR UNFORGIVENESS

Well, the question may arise, “how do I know I am still bitter against someone over an offense?”

As children of God, we may have learned not to make evil wishes or prayers for others. But we seldom pay attention to how we feel when something good happens in our lives. How do you feel when someone else is saying nice things about the person that hurt you? Do you feel they do not deserve to be happy? Do you feel like saying bad things about them to others?

Honest responses to these questions may be helpful in revealing traces of bitterness and resentment. Jesus said to pray for one another and our enemies, so if you find it difficult to pray for those who may have hurt you before, then your test result is positive.

 

LEARNING TO FORGIVE OTHERS

Forgiving people does not mean you were not offended. It simply means you choose to heal and move on, it means you take away their power over you. When you hold grudges against people, they tend to indirectly control your emotions. When you see them, you lose your peace, but it ought not to be so. Unforgiveness does more harm to you than to them. This is why you must learn to do yourself a favor by letting go of the pain.

Forgive your parents for not measuring up, forgive the people in your childhood that made life look like a slice of hell, forgive even the person that you have said you will never forgive. It is possible to forget the pain, in Christ, it is very much possible. God can bring you to a point where you may have to mourn your losses; everything they took from you, your time, energy, innocence, and all. They can’t give it back, so you should stop feeling like they owe you. Maybe they do, but they can’t pay you back what they owe you. You have to rely on God for grace to write off your debt.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Mathew 6:14-15

You don’t pay God anything for letting go of your sins, the only thing He asks for in return is that you extend the same measure of compassion to those who err against you. Forgiveness is not just a feeling it is a decision. It is you saying, “I choose love over hate. I choose peace over bitterness. I choose happiness over anger. I choose God’s way over mine.” It is a choice but it is not an option.

True forgiveness and healing go hand-in-hand. You can say with your lips that you have forgiven someone but still hold onto the hurts that they caused you but as long as you hold onto these, you will never have a great relationship with God and His people. Turn them over to God and let Him deal with them on His terms. If you try to tell God what to do to them as a payback, you still haven’t forgiven them.

HEALING IS AVAILABLE FOR THE WOUNDED HEART

What consistent hurt from people does to us is that it hardens our hearts towards others. And unknown to us, when we come to God, we are likely to also see God in that light. So, we end up being up-tight with God, lacking all elements of vulnerability. Beloved, if you keep hiding your wounds from your physician, you may never get treated.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalms 147:3

Jesus can heal everywhere you have hurt. Only He knows exactly what you have been through, He knows exactly where you have hurt. He gives grace for us to forgive even the greatest of all offenses, and in addition, He sets us eternally free by healing us emotionally, He heals our relationships and marriages. He restores our perspective of life and changes the way we perceive people and situations.

 

PRAYER FOR HEALING AND GRACE TO FORGIVE

Dear Lord, I come before You in humility and vulnerability. While I was yet a sinner you died for me on the Cross. I do not deserve Your mercy; I ask that you expose every hidden bitterness and anger in my heart and grant me the grace to forgive those who have wronged me.

Teach me to forgive before the offense comes, and when it comes, help me to be able to control my emotions. I choose to release myself from the burden of unforgiveness. I ask that You heal and stabilize my emotions, give me a new perspective on life. I receive forgiveness for my transgressions through faith in the beautiful name of Jesus.

Thank You, Father, for I know that Your love is taking care of my ruins. So, I affirm that I am restored in Jesus’ name. Amen!

MEDITATE ON THESE VERSES:

Mathew 18:21-35, Ephesians 4:31-32.